i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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