I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
