i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I fill condoms, not promises.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
