she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
