I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Someone signed my nipple.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
