It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
