Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
