Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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