I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
