this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
