Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
4 words: hood of his car
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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