dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
