There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Your penis caused this!
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