theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
it's like heaven, but drunker
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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