with your own penis?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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