So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Your cock deserves a montage
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
