Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
