Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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