I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
