Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
