apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
