and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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