i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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