Me too!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
