oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Holy shit dude........stairs
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
