Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
