Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
