all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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