i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
