Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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