Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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