she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
