You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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