Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Someone shattered a urinal.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
