why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you win again, gameday.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
