I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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