I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
