if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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