But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
