im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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