Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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