Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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