You work out of a Hotel?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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