ya dads aren't the best wingmen
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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