To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
