I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
