next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
