Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
