I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
