i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
