I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Randomize
