Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
