Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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