I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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