Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
